I start(ed) my days really early, and noticed I was dragging ass by 7 PM. I sleep in for a few hours extra and it’s changed my life completely. HERE’S A BIG FUCK YOU EARLY BIRD. I’ll find more worms anywhoot, you freak of fucking nature.
Noun: Bitch (bich):
1. A miserable person who sucks all joy and happiness out of life, and makes life a little less worth living by her consistently shitty attitude. When not complaining, her drama and gossip will fill the void. He or she (but usually she) refuses to do something with a group, and will forego hanging out with said group unless they’re doing something she wants to do. She will put her interest ahead of others every single time, just for the sake of being a bitch. A bitch hates fun.
“Hey guys, sorry we can’t check out that cool new Brazilian restaurant, Janet is being a bitch.”
2. A status you assume when you take one in the pooper while incarcerated.
3. What you become when you fail at pool, bowling, Quake, english, math, Street Fighter Alpha, etc.
4. Having a thankless job where you work lots of overtime without pay while your boss is on vacation.
5. Having to sit in the middle seat between two people in a car or plane.
6. Being last in line to get cake or ice cream at a party.
7. Crying and throwing a tantrum about something nobody gives a shit about, including you.
“I’m not going to give you $6 for my share of an $11 pizza when all I owe you is $5.50. I shouldn’t have to pay extra, waaaaaah!”
8. Having a high opinion of your looks and a sense of entitlement when people compliment you. Your ego is usually punctuated with a “hottie” shirt, which makes you slightly less tolerable to be around than children, and slightly more tolerable to be around than a saucer of goat cum.
(ty Maddox LOL)
I’ll start it off here, It’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog!
New Years is almost here, what are your resolutions for the big 08? I’d like to know.
I don’t know about you guys, but I love Halloween. The girls have their minds made up on what they want to be.
Got the decorations up, and the daily links to slutty costume suggestions being sent to the wifey. <3 Will she dare take my advice?Who knows, stay tuned.
I know it sounds corny, but Happy Spooky October guys! Get out those scary flicks, a big ass box of your favorite candies, cuddle up to your favorite human being, blow up doll, or corpse and enjoy.
mmm corpses.
Movie suggestions for this month so far :
Planet Terror
Taking more suggestions, let me know.
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. ( Keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches;)
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s!
4. Enjoy the simple things
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is .
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
5. All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I’m called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I’m at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
Answers: Down Below